and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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