I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
