You work out of a Hotel?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
