Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize