How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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