he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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