that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
