dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize