Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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