wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
