do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
