Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
