There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
