how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
