my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
