She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
