So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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