dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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