just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
