FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
