He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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