I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize