I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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