Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize