I just gift wrapped bread.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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