he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
