he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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