Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
