i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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