Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
