she smelled like a LAN party
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
