I am puke
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
