Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
