I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize