I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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