yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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