we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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