My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
