you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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