Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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