They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
