So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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