I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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