I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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