my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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