you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
