Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
