Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
