I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
