If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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