so explain again why im purple
no
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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