i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
