Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
