so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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