I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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