someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
