she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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