I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
