You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
