So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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