there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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