I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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