Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
