you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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