never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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