if you like me you must not know who I am
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So vagazzling was a success
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize